Admire the presentation.
You hand over the box with a perfectly straight face.
An entirely fictional tasting experience
Exquisite taste. Terrible gift.
They know a little deli. They love a tasting menu. They have absolutely not tried this. Introduce the Artisan Dog Poo Selection Box, then let the name sink in.
One empty printed novelty gift box. Fictional product.
Your real gift goes inside. Delivery shown in basket.
Off the menu. For good reason.
YOU KNOW EXACTLY WHO THIS IS FOR.
Farm to table took a very wrong turn.
Some gifts say “I know your taste”. This one says it with a dangerously straight face. The fictional artisan selection borrows all the ceremony of gourmet gifting and sends it somewhere no cheeseboard should ever go.
Meet the Artisan Dog Poo Selection Box ↗Read the name again.
The fictional product gets its moment in the spotlight.
Discover something much nicer.
They open it to discover the thoughtful gift you put inside.
THE BOX IS JUST THE OPENING ACT.
Wrong outside.
Right inside.
One empty box. Your actual present. Two very different first impressions.
“I found this lovely little local producer.”
Save this for the foodie who enjoys a gross-out joke. Let the packaging have its moment before revealing the perfectly normal gift inside.
Try the reveal
Plot twist: the good gift was yours all along. Close to try again.
Your actual,
thoughtful gift.
thoughtful gift.
A restaurant voucher or a small, sealed treat that fits. No food or dog poo comes with the box.
You provide the gift. We provide the box.A VERY SILLY IDEA. THOUGHT THROUGH.
The details make the joke.
An acquired taste. Allegedly.
The fictional delicacy takes the language of gourmet gifting to its least appetising conclusion.
Let them read the label.
The joke is that first careful glance, followed by the much less careful second one.
Your present is the palate cleanser.
It is an empty novelty box. Their actual gift goes inside; no food or dog poo is included.
THE ACTUAL, NON-FICTIONAL DETAILS.
Good joke.
Check the fit.
Before you choose your gift, check the usable internal measurements. The fictional product and your real present are not included.
Standard delivery: Charge to be confirmed before payment
Dispatch: To be confirmed
Delivery after dispatch: To be confirmed
All box and delivery details- Usable internal size (length × width × height)
- To be confirmed
- Material
- To be confirmed
- Assembly
- To be confirmed
- Dispatch estimate
- To be confirmed
- Delivery estimate after dispatch
- To be confirmed
We’re confirming the box specifications and delivery estimates. Live ordering will open once these details are ready.
Will your gift fit?
We’re confirming the internal measurements. The fit checker will be available once they’re confirmed.
LET’S CLEAR A FEW THINGS UP.
Fair questions.
Very wrong box.
What am I actually buying?
One empty printed Artisan Dog Poo Selection Box novelty gift box for £7.99. The product pictured on the packaging is fictional and is not included. Add your own real gift before giving it to someone.
Please tell me there is no actual dog poo?
There is no dog poo, no food and no edible product. You are buying an empty novelty gift box with a fictional artisan-food theme.
Who is brave enough to receive this?
Anyone who enjoys a gross-out joke. It is especially fitting for foodie friends and dog owners; you know their sense of humour best.
What should I put inside?
A restaurant voucher or a small, sealed treat that fits. No food or dog poo comes with the box. Check the usable internal dimensions before choosing your present.
When will it arrive, and what is delivery?
Check the current dispatch and delivery estimates before ordering. The delivery charge appears in your basket and before payment. See returns and damaged-box help if you need it.
GREAT GIFTS. TERRIBLE FIRST IMPRESSIONS.
A first impression in gloriously poor taste.
Artisan Dog Poo Selection Box · One empty novelty gift box
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